Adam and Eve

Genesis 2

1: Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.

• Heavens being the sky, not the universe. The creation story says that the Earth is flat, and that the stars, the sun, and the moon are merely "lights strategically placed in the sky." This is why the church long ago believed that the "great light" known as the sun revolved around the Earth.

2: And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.

• Why does God need to rest? Apparently, he gets exhausted. And wouldn't God naturally be resting anyway if he was done with all of creation? It almost implies that he "took a break" because he was going to do more work on the 8th day.

3: And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made.

• How do you even "bless and sanctify" a day? Why did he stress such importance on the 7th day merely because he was naturally resting on it anyway?

4: These are the generations of the heavens and of the earth when they were created, in the day that the LORD God made the earth and the heavens,

• This sentence doesn't make any sense at all! "Generations of the heavens and earth when they were created in the DAY..?" Generations implies long periods of time, Day implies 24 hours. This sentence alone contradicts itself, AND the 6 day creation all at once!

5: And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the LORD God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground.

• God does not cause it to rain. Nature takes care of that. And no man to till the ground? Is that then why God creates man; as slave workers to till the ground?

6: But there went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground.

• Now it rains, and ironically enough, it doesn't say God causes it to happen like verse 5 implies he does.

7: And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

• How can God Create Earth, the sky, and the universe from nothing at all, but need the dust he created on Earth in order to make a man? He created the animals from seemingly nothing at all.

8: And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.

• God "planted?" Why didn't he just make it from nothing at all? God already created all the plants and trees, so why is he "planting" more again all of a sudden? If you "plant" trees, they take years to fully develop.

9: And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

• So here we have two completely separate metaphorical trees; The tree of life, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. This doesn't make sense. Why is God creating "magical" trees with "magical" fruit?

10: And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became into four heads. 11: The name of the first is Pison: that is it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold; 12: And the gold of that land is good: there is bdellium and the onyx stone. 13: And the name of the second river is Gihon: the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Ethiopia. 14: And the name of the third river is Hiddekel: that is it which goeth toward the east of Assyria. And the fourth river is Euphrates.

• These verses talk about a river, gold, bdellium (a gum resin similar to myrrh obtained from various trees), and onyx. I doubt God is placing enough value on these things to mention them, but the author himself is.

15: And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

• So it's confirmed. Man was made as a gardening slave. Why does God even "want" a garden of Eden and then want to create a man in order to "dress and keep it?" Can't God "dress and keep" it with his powers? God apparently created Gardening tools out of then air as well. God's kind of a weird guy.

16: And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: 17: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

• So not only is man a Gardening Slave, but he is a dumbed down garden slave with no knowledge of Good or Evil or anything else but gardening knowledge. Why does God even create the means for man to learn evil by creating a "tree of knowledge of good and evil" and then promising death if he "eats" of it. I surely do hope this is a metaphor for something, otherwise, a "perfect and loving" God is beginning to make no sense.

18: And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

• Isn't that nice of God.

19: And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

• Here we have God forming all the animals again for a 2nd time in front of Adam so he can name them. Did God make the animals he created in front of Adam disappear afterwards? Because the Bible mainly takes place in Africa, Egypt, and the areas around Jerusalem, the fossil records in that area do NOT account for every living creature spread throughout the world known to man.

• And if Adam was the only man at that point, and everything else was an animal, then what are other hominids who's remains are dated long before man even learned how to carve rocks doing in the evolutionary fossil record? How can Adam's offspring devolve into the earlier forms of man?

20: And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

• This is nonsense because creatures did not got their names all at once. They were only named after they were discovered and written down or referenced to in historical writings. It's hard to imagine all the names for every creature was named by one man.
  

21: And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

• This is VERY strange. God is an anaesthesiologist, a genetic scientist who cloned woman out of man, and a surgeon. Why did God create the earth out of nothing, but Adam out of the dust from the Earth, then Eve out of Adams rib in a seemingly medical operation? This doesn't make sense.

22: And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

• This also suggests that Eve is of the same genetic material as Adam. Their children would be the result of incestual relations, born with defects, and down syndrome among other problems that relate to incest.
  

23: And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

• Here Adam names woman, not God, and confirming she is of his same genetic material.

24: Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

• This is talking about marriage. The strange thing is, there is no concept of parents and childbirth yet, because Eve didn't eat of the fruit and get cursed with Childbirth yet. The author is clearly writing this with foreknowledge, and as most of this nonsense is showing, clearly out of his imagination as well.

25: And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

• Sounds like a nudist colony. Nudists aren't ashamed of being naked, either.

Genesis 3:

1: Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

• Well now, all of a sudden here, we have four people who can talk. If the serpent is a literal serpent, like a snake, then having it talk is complete nonsense. However, it is apparently a metaphor for Satan. We all know the story of Satan. A fallen angel who used to be God's favorite, didn't like something God did, rebelled against him with an army, and was cast down to Earth so the story goes. However, as we've seen up to this point, The Kingdom of Heaven literally refers to "the Kingdom of the Sky." If Heaven is a "real" place in an "alternate reality," so to speak, that existed before Earth, then what was the point of God even creating earth for a Garden with magical trees, and slaves to "till the ground?" It doesn't make any sense. Satan had to develop his so called history before this point.

2: And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:
3: But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

• So now it's said that they can't even touch the magical tree. Why has God put this magical tree in a Garden that they aren't even supposed to touch, let alone eat of?

4: And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:

• At least not immediately. However, this implies that before Eve at the fruit of the tree, man was immortal. This completely goes against nature. This is nonsense. The animals weren't immortal and they weren't punished by Eve getting suckered into eating of the tree.

5: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

• This verse is interesting in a couple of ways. One is that this almost sounds like the Matrix movie in the way that "eating the fruit" is like a sudden "uploading of information" in the mind. That's magical fruit for ya. The other interesting thing to note is that the Serpent says "ye shall be as gods." That in itself can mean a number things just in the way it is written. It's written in plural form, which could mean "Ye shall be as THE Gods." There are several verses where God is used in plural context, which would coincide with this. (Gen-1:26, 3:22, 6:2-4, 11:6-7) It's also interesting to note that if it were phrased as "Ye shall be as God," then it would make more sense for a singular God. It's also worth noting that "being as a God" could also mean the fruit gives you magical creation powers. But apparently, it just means "ye shall be as knowledgeable as Gods."

6: And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. 7: And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

• So now all of a sudden they know how to sew aprons? Where did their needle and thread come from? Why does "knowledge of Good and Evil" make you ashamed of your nakedness? Is it "evil" to be naked?

8: And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden.

• This does NOT make sense. "Hearing the voice of God walking?" Voices do not "walk." And how can you hide from God? Isn't he supposed to be omnipresent?

9: And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?

• Why does God of all people have to look for someone? If God is both omnipresent and omniscient, then why does he have to search for Adam, why didn't didn't he know that he and Eve ate from the tree as soon as it happened?

10: And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself. 11: And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? 12:And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. 13:And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.

• Again, if God knows everything you do when you do it, then why didn't he already know they ate of the tree? Why does he have to question them about it? If they were still naked, then would God not know that they ate of the tree? Can you keep secrets from God? This doesn't make sense.

14:And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life: 15:And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

• This is truly a weird "curse." What does cursed "above" the animals mean? What does "upon they belly shalt thou go" mean? How can God make someone eat dust? Also, when he says "all the days of thy life," that can mean that Satan's days are limited, and he was cursed with mortality. It's foolish to believe that man was punished with mortality, but Satan wasn't since he was the one who tempted Eve and caused her to eat the fruit.

16:Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

• Here we have God saying man shall rule over woman. That's pretty sexist.

17:And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; 18:Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; 19:In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

• Here we have God saying that man is cursed with some kind of sorrow when he eats and death. God also says the same thing in verse 17 as he does when he curses Satan; "All the days of thy life." We know Adam was mortal and died, and based on that same sentence and wording , it's safe to assume that Satan was then mortal and his days were numbered.

20:And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living. 21:Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.

• So now God kills some animals, does some leather working, and makes clothes for Adam and Eve. How strange.

22:And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

• Now here is an interesting verse. "God says man has become as one of US." This confirms the context in verse 5 where the serpent says "ye shall be as Gods." If you think of Adam as the first colony of men(Gen-1:26, 5:1-2), then these verses where God is talking about "US" can also be seen as a colony of "Gods," or rulers maybe. God actually has a few names in the various ancient texts like "Elohim, Jehovah, and Yahweh" (look them up on wikipedia) If Adam is the first colony of men, then these names for God can also be seen as Colonies of lords, or some type of rulers. Anyway, what's this nonsense about God fearing them from eating of the tree of life and living forever, then kicking them out of Eden in the next verse?

23:Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.

• So now God kicks them out of Eden to till the ground somewhere else as gardening slaves.

24:So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.

• Now God places Cherubims (angels) to "guard" the garden of Eden, and a "flaming sword." This is nonsense. Man supposedly created metal weapons, which includes swords. Here it tells us that God created a magical "flaming" sword first. And why did he place a guard for the tree? Do we still see this cherubim guard and magic flaming sword? Nope. It's safe to assume God made these magical trees, angels, and the flaming sword disappear after some time. Why didn't he just make the trees disappear to begin with so there was no need for a guard and a flaming sword in the first place?
• This is all insane nonsense! Unless these are all metaphors for something, then this is all ridiculous. But then metaphors for what?